Katie Bloody Melua
What do Tony Blair and Katie Melua have in common? Well, you never see them in the same place at the same time, do you? Also, they are both highly successful in their chosen spheres despite having nothing to say. Given that one of them is a celebrity psychopath and one an 'artist' (and I'll leave you to figure out the which), you might be forgiven for thinking otherwise, but it's true.
Katie Melua's songs are dreadful - largely without reason and bereft of rhyme, they talk of the inconsequential on a Brunellian scale. Also, she can't sing. At all. She can't even hold a note. Or a key. Utterly appalling and hugely appealing to... er.... well... to devotees of the world's most inept radio DJ, Sarah Kennedy, whose show I use as an alarm clock mainly because listening to her amoebic drivel coming out of a loudspeaker makes it impossible to stay in bed. She drives me to the toilet, and ensures I start the day furious.
Why, then is Melua the weapon of choice of so many? Is her bland incompetence what we savour as our benchmark? Is she taken as an aural Valium? Secretly, I hope that people buy her recordings because they like not to listen to her. This, I am sure, is the answer.
Jamie Cullum in in the same galaxy. Exec pt he's a nice chap with obvious talent - but not that much. Anyone listening to his version of the lounge standards must surely have thought - 'Yeah, nice, but not great.' Well, no they didn't. What they actually said was, 'This man is the most amazing artist I've heard of!'
I don't understand. I don't understand. But I suspect.
And that brings me back to Tony Blair. Well... it's not all his fault, unfortunately. John Major had a lot to do with it. And The Blessed Margaret, so Beloved of Brown, laid the foundations. (Well, actually, maybe Clement Atlee laid the first stone, but I don't really want to blame him... he was such a nice guy.)
Meritocracy.
What does it mean? Rule by those who deserve to rule you. Put another way, advancement in society by means of your abilities. That sounds much nicer, although it still rather leaves us with the standing order that thou shalt advance to prosper. Not much socialism there then.
It's very popular as a one-word concept, though, because it sounds cool and fair to all, and it's advertised as what it isn't - narcissist, old boy's club, establishment, masonic, secretive, aristocratic, unfair, undemocratic etc etc.
What it means in the real world is anyone's guess (and who judges the judges of merit?), but it has come to be synonymous with mediocrity, and that's where Katie comes in. We have become obsessively happy as a society with 'bigging it up' - hyping up our lives, our businesses, our country and our politics, whereas the 'it' is most always an old chipolata in reality.
We have swallowed our own crap, I fear. Think call centres. Think 'a job well done'. Think Peter Mandelson. Think Millennium Dome. Think Holyrood. Think Iraq and Afghanistan. Think domestic debt. Think Northern Rock. Think Katie Melua.
Lest you feel I'm just being a miserable old arse, a positive plea: isn't it time we stopped living in other people's ideas of life, and just did our own thing? I'm sure we'd be good at it, if only we would try.
Maybe that's what I'm annoyed about.
3 comments:
Goodness me! I You'll do yourself an injury.
Isn't getting angry at Katie Melua a bit like getting angry at Terry and June?
I think you should ease yourself into the day with some Terry Wogan or some porn. The same thing some would say.
I kind of agree with you, mostly (though have no strong feelings about Katie Melua), but, in a way, I don't think we or society are obsessively happy. Now, this might be because I am in a bad mood today, but I think our society is almost entirely negative and cynical. The press is driven by dredging up the worst possible stories about people. We live in a society where Critic is a job, though the Careers office never mentioned that one when I was at school. TV chucks out whatever cheap rubbish it can get away with (which I watch, damn me). Society does reward mediocrity ... and mundanity .. but only in a select lucky few with the talk to get them there. I am mediocre and still to reap the benefits from this Mediocracy. Politics is driven by pleasing as many voters as they can and to hell with actual principles (or if you are Blair pleasing God ... or God knows what the man was up to). I meet people regularly who think their lives to be rather pointless (what great parties we have) though they are clearly not, and if they thought a wee bit more positively could achieve a lot more. Likewise though, there are probably as many who pretend to be something they are not, in the right situation you can get away with it, but I think in the long run it makes life unsatisfactory.
So I think far from swallowing our own crap I think there is a lot of misery and dissatisfaction out there - most of it in my head, but I am pretty certain it is outside of my head too.
Finally, someone has a bad word to say about Katie Melua! I've never understood the big fuss with her. And that recent 'collaberation' with Eva Cassidy was just crazy. The only thing it did was highlight just how mediocre her voice is compared to someone who actually had some talent. Still, I'm sure it makes great background music in Starbucks.
Huh you really are angry!! Although i agree with your point regarding katie.
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