From Our Own Correspondent

Our roving American reporter writes to tell us about the Hell that everyday life in the US is descending into. (Well, for some people, anyway.)

The latest Kafka-esque adventure from across The Pond features one Harry Johnson, a Senior Citizen, and US Army Veteran who has become persona non grata at the age of 81, thanks to security regulations put in place recently in the US Civil Service.

The trouble with Harry is that, in 1925, the local doctor failed to officially register his birth. That was OK, because Harry got a baptismal certificate instead. And it did him fine all the way to 2006, when he applied to renew his drivers licence, when the clerk told him to go away and get a birth certificate.

So Johnson went to the Dept of Health to get a 'delayed' certificate. Helpfully, they responded that he would have to petition the state court at a cost of $1000.

So what went wrong? Well, Harry was named Harry by his parents, but he wasn't christened Harry. Apparently, the local priest wanted something a bit more official and saint-like, and so he was christened Henry, and that's what went down on his certificate.

That was also the last time Harry ever used that name. Harry was fine for his high school; it was fine for the US Army; it was fine for his house deeds; his mortgage; his bank; his passport; his marriage certificate; his social security card and his Medicare account. All of them were perfectly happy with Harry Johnson. In fact, even the licensing people were happy, on multiple previous licence renewals.

But things have become different under the Patriot Act, when all officialdom seems to have lost its perspective. Harry can't be synonymous with Henry. Sorry. Consequently, Harry is guilty of conducting a six-decade deception on the authorities, and, in order to continue as a legal entity, Harry must change his name from Henry, which is what he is really called.

Er...? Right?

In the meantime, he can't drive, which means both he AND his wife are housebound. And the stress has made him ill.

Comment from the pen pushers was to the effect that they were only following orders, so presumably they will have no qualms about having killed an old man in order to keep their bosses happy.

PS: There is another point about all this: in a 'free' society, one of the central planks of personal freedom lies in control of identity. Usually, the de facto state is that you are who you say you are; you might have to prove it - you might be required to have lots of documentation, but that doesn't betray the principle. Now, in the US, apparently it is the case that the state decides who you are, and that really isn't nice.